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ETERNITY: The Movie

March 4, 2014

CQ24_1000x316_EternityThe_01

LOL.

I mean seriously, LOL.

This film is so awful it’s just about perfect.  And I mean that in the best way possible.

Look, I grew up in the 80s, I LOVED the 80s, and the 80s actually had some really great music, film and fashion.

It also had some of the worst music, film and fashion in history, no joke.

ETERNITY, because I’m 99% positive they meant it to be awful, hits every level of this.

Todd Lucas (Barrett Crake) and BJ Fairchild (Myko Olivier) meet in the 80s and decide to form the greatest R&B band in history, Eternity. The film follows their rise to fame and fortune, their loves, their lusts, their friendship, and finally their falling out and inevitable reunion.

ETERNITY: THE MOVIE is not a tribute to the greatness of the 80s.  I could very well be wrong, but I really think it’s a tribute to the awfulness of the 80s.  There was some really horrid music on the radio back then, and you’ll hear some very similar music in this film (although I actually like the last two songs of the film).  80s fashion could be mind bogglingly terrible, especially for men – and it’s here in all its cheap glory.  Don’t let nostalgia fool you, 80s television was not what you remember either.  And ETERNITY has all the overdramatic arguments from the after school specials, a melodramatic dying scene straight from the nighttime soaps, and the subtle undercurrent of homosexuality blatant homoerotic tomfoolery of the entire decade times infinity.  There is bad acting, bad writing, bad sex jokes, bad ideas and Ridgemont High.  Wait, Ridgemont High is awesome, what wasn’t awesome were all the copycat movies that came after it.

That’s what ETERNITY is, in the most perfect way.

Would *I* watch it again?  LOL.  No.  But I know a lot of people who will love this film and will want to watch it over and over.  “I get it now, I get it,” says one character near the end of the film.  “I don’t,” replies Gina Marie (Nikki Leonti) and I started cracking up.  Because that kind of summed up the movie.  I think there is going to be a section of the audience who will be rolling their eyes at this film, and then there is going to be the much larger section cheering and cackling with glee.  It’s all done in good fun, and I think they absolutely accomplished what they were trying for.

See ETERNITY: THE MOVIE at Cinequest!
My interview with the filmmakers!
“Like” them on Facebook!
Follow the film on Twitter!

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